I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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