He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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