sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
