; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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