Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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