Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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