I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
