Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.

  (323): View more from California

  Sounds like a plan.

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  (818): If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him. (323): Sounds like a plan. http://tfl.nu/lnib
  Replies (34) Good night (8583) Bad night (989)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.

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  (720): Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight. http://tfl.nu/wlf9
  Replies (37) Good night (8208) Bad night (833)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.

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  (641): I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/i5uc
  Replies (6) Good night (971) Bad night (3397)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.

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  (401): You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you. http://tfl.nu/6q4j
  Replies (14) Good night (9435) Bad night (1165)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"

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  (225): I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed" http://tfl.nu/96g5
  Replies (5) Good night (806) Bad night (3624)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?

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  (845): Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn? http://tfl.nu/bm5d
  Replies (11) Good night (6972) Bad night (1302)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.

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  (920): the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet. http://tfl.nu/lvr3
  Replies (12) Good night (6010) Bad night (1048)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog

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  (425): oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog http://tfl.nu/rz7h
  Replies (30) Good night (6458) Bad night (1560)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.

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  (+44): listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all. http://tfl.nu/7xa1
  Replies (8) Good night (1274) Bad night (2787)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.

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  (414): in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself. http://tfl.nu/j69f
  Replies (5) Good night (4095) Bad night (1774)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.

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  (978): I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek. http://tfl.nu/dtfv
  Replies (5) Good night (1762) Bad night (836)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.

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  (403): I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave. http://tfl.nu/rhln
  Replies (4) Good night (711) Bad night (420)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Oh we're gynecologists

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  (334): Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween? (334): Oh we're gynecologists http://tfl.nu/xv3o
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (370)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage

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  (774): Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage http://tfl.nu/jljf
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (354)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.

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  (516): He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. http://tfl.nu/ta05
  Replies (4) Good night (689) Bad night (446)

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