Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
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i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We have started to decorate penises.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
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He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?