Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia