On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize