meet me or not, i'm out of control
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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