but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
