i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
