Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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