I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
