You really coming over, don't trick.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
