oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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