So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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