i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
