get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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