I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
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