i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
