he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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