I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
