I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
