you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Randomize
