Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize