I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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