Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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