We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
