K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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