Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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