there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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