you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
