Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
