is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
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Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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