i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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