I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
