did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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