Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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