we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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