Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
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You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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