I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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