A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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