Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
