He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
