I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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