He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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