yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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