You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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