Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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