The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize