Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
