She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i think my cat just said my name.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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