god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
