she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
