MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
