He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
