I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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