I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
