that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
