"it" just moved
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
