I am in a vortex of obligation.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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