I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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