you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
