***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
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I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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