I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
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Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
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