Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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