I just pynch a tree in the face
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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