god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
